Britney and the Paparazzi

I normally fill my mornings with massive amounts of caffeine, surfing through various news services and reading even more on the internet. While going about my usual routine I have began to notice something that is either interesting or sick about celebrities, well, actually one in particular, Britney Spears.

I did not start out to read about her insane antics, but it quickly turned in that direction once I began to notice that I was seeing nothing but stories on her. I felt that she was either so newsworthy that she was pushing normal stories to the back page, or she had entered into some type of unholy alliance with the paparazzi. Little did I know that the two were feeding off one another in some form of insane plan of the universe.

Good old Ms. throw back a few beers, snort a line or two, cause a media circus by shaving her head in public, scream at the paparazzi while attacking their cars with an umbrella and then use her genuine Hollywood "get out of jail" card issued to every person who joins the celebrity crowd –REHAB!

What began as every news service and gossip magazine going for the money shot of her getting out of vehicles while blatantly exposing herself, slowly turned into exposing the truth about Britney and the paparazzi, they live for and off of one another.

This became evident when I began to see photos of paparazzi ordering food for Britney. Now, before anyone says this is silly, hear the rest of the story. We had Britney and her sister sitting in a car at a fast food drive up window. Britney was trying her best to order food for the two of them and the person at the drive up could not make out what she was saying.

Why, you may ask, well it was because Britney had not opened her window and kept repeating the order through the closed window. The parade of paparazzi cars behind her took pity and ordered for her.

Next, we have Britney pulled over on the highway with a flat tire; does she call a repair service? No, a few of the paparazzi pull up, get out of their vehicle and change her tire for her. While her car was being serviced, Britney sat in the car singing Christmas songs to her tiny dog all dressed up in a Santa suit.

After that, I see many photos on different occasions of Britney at a gas station getting gasoline. Of course, the paparazzi do not allow her to pump her own gas, no, they get out of their car and pump the gas for her while other paparazzi clean her windows and check her oil!

This went on and on and thankfully, I became sick of the research. Not only do the paparazzi survive off Britney, but they also work hard to insure she is around for more photographs, which she obviously loves to pose for, clean-shaven or not.

Now, I promise from this day forth never to mention her again.