One of the winning reasons in the Home Office from Hell contest in which entrants had to list the top ten reasons they needed to escape their home offices confessed he referred to his pets as employees.
Reading the article gave me the unheralded insight of a soothsayer forecasting the future of man. The Holy Grail of humanity, salvation of every tax-paying citizen, the answer was within me. The solution is so simple that I really cannot quite comprehend why it has taken a member of humanity this length of time to arrive at my conclusion.
We simply claim our pets as dependants on our yearly tax returns thereby increasing our income even exponentially by adding more pets. If you do not really care for dogs adopt a stray cat, allergic to cats no problem run out and purchase an aquarium with twenty dependants, the more the better.
Need a few more dependants this year to compensate for that money you earned at the racetrack last weekend, run out and purchase more fish or claim your children’s fish, it all works out. It is such a wonderful feeling knowing I am the person that provided the answer to all of the tax problems of the citizens of America.
Just think of it, just by running out to the local pet store and purchasing one hundred guppies, better knows as dependants you have decreased your taxes, I am a genus. You would think a solution as this would be tiring, but in one short paragraph I have corrected all of humanities tax problems and to think I did all of this without leaving the comfort of my home.
Of course, there is still one slight problem facing us that may put a damper to my solution to humanities problems, the Internal Revenue Service.
I am beginning to wonder if the Internal Revenue Service will allow me to claim my two birds, one dog and that fat cat that constantly hangs around the front of the house.
After giving my solution a considerable amount of deep thought, I have arrived at the conclusion that this is really a dumb idea, never mind.
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